My God died young.

My God died young.

you know, atheism is not the first thing that leaps to mind when this line comes up. it's not that simple, it can't be.

it's My God.

my God died young. he was 6'2", gentle giant, blond hair and warm brown gray eyes.

my god died young. 18 with his life ahead of him, a full ride football scholarship to California state. a pediatrician, musician, engineer...

my god died young. 12 years old attending the funeral of a man that terrified me, though i did not why at the time, i learned that my god had died coming to attend that same funeral of the patriarch of our clan.

12 years old standing at a casketless wake with not even ashes to spread of my god, his mother and his father, who were also my gods. with the woman who would have been my god's wife, my god's brother, both of whom are lost to me now, dampening my mourning clothes with salt tears that i could not shed.

my god was gentle to the crawling toddler. he was teasing to the bright child. he was comforting to the coming teen. he was my god. and he died young. my god died young and i can never have him back no matter how much i beg or curse or pray. My God died young.

shade did not just mean atheism. he can't have. he meant that the focus of his devotion, his world died young and he had to be the one to bury her. Hazel was Shade's god despite her flaws, or her perfections; she was his god and she died young, too early. no one should have to bury their children. not one should have to say goodbye too soon to their gods. but they do. because gods, mortal or theological, die young. and they can never come back.